MIL Chronicles - October 2015

MIL Chronicles

This happened a couple weeks ago when I was tired. This isn't funny. It speaks to the crazy that is in every corner of my home right now, my corner included. Ok from where you are reading it might be funny. Only because you will see the controlled burn behind my eyes and picture the expression on my face that has never been something someone would refer to as a poker face.

I came home on a night when every day was long, work was crazy, I had a beautiful wedding to plan that weekend and every day in traffic was minimum of 2 hours each direction. If you are gonna to talk to me before my tea in the morning or after a long day before I've had the first drop of water I was able to find in the last 8 hours, make it pleasant. This isn't a request, it's a directive and it is for your safety. Truly. And so the story begins. We find our heroine (that's me) entering the kitchen after a long day.

MIL: oh Deb, you forgot to turn off the light to the basement this morning. (She says from her perch on the couch that she doesn't leave unless to eat).

Big: yeah, I guess you forgot.

Me: yeah I guess with walking the dog, carrying my bag, my tea, my breakfast and my shoes I just didn't have enough hands.

MIL: I turned it off. Otherwise it would have burned all day long. What a waste.

Big: yeah, Deb doesn't sweat that shit. Fuck it, let it burn she says (this said half jokingly, half sarcastically)

Me:  know what?  Neither of you pay the electric bill. Not either one. I do. Know what else, that was by design, it's called 'shut up money'. This is the part where both of you shut up. The $0.27 extra I have to pay this month for electricity will come out of my pay, no one else's.

Fast forward to this morning while I'm juggling all the above in the basement. Comes from above...don't forget the light...

Me: through gritted teeth, my checks flushed with immediate irritation.... I won't.

Talked to Big on the way in. He gets home at 6 tonight. I don't know when I'll be home for a couple of large things that are due. I told him. I left the kitchen light on. You make sure that isn't the first thing said to me tonight, if at all. No bullshit. It's a safety issue, I'm not playing. Her safety, yours too. I know where you both sleep.