Some People Have A Bucket List....mine is a little different

So if you have a Bucket List I am glad.  That's the next list that I would like to work on.  Presently, however I am working on my FU list. That's right.  It means what you think it means.  That's it.  So the latest on the list was completed yesterday and dropped in the mail.

When people continually F with you for years and you just take it and take it cause you feel like you have to.....well that has to come to an end sooner or later.  Circumstances change and suddenly you are in a place where you have nothing to lose by saying what you really think.  Did I ever.


Here is the challenge.  As you grow up you realize that when you are going to send someone packing you have to get past the anger of anything and everything that has happened.  First and foremost...the anger.  You can not intelligently support your points if you are busy shouting obscenities.  Not that I am against that sort of thing, but I want to be really heard...listened to.  The anger will get in  the way.

Here is the next piece, specific examples.  I read an article lately about firing your boss.  I don't need to fire mine but the article was interesting.  It mentioned not just saying "he always, she never...."  Specific examples need to be applied.  I can do that.  I did that.  So firing is more then just for a boss.  It can be for friends too.

People in my life that don't do anything positive for my life or the people I love are no longer welcome.  I don't care if they are women, men or brilliant alien life forms from Mars.  Everybody has them.  The people that you have known forever and have been friends with forever and they piss you off.  Continually.  You take that.  Then they start to really go over the line and you don't feel like you are in a place to be able to say anything about it.  You have something to lose by saying what you really think.  And then, as if by magic you forget about them and you are living your life and doing your thing.  You haven't forgiven and you don't really have any interest in talking to them.  You just don't think about them.  But these people are relentless.  They need to F with someone and when they don't have anything going they FIND you again to stir things.  They send you a note that is so ridiculous you have to laugh.  And you know....you just KNOW, its time.  She's next.

So the letter is written.  It's articulate.  It leave no room for interpretation....it is so very clear.  That monkey is now removed from my back and if she listens...really listens this time....I will never hear from her again in my lifetime.  She won't listen, right?  You know that as well as I do.  Sooner or later she will try again cause she won't have anyone to F with.  I'll ignore her.  Completely.

So here was the last paragraph of the letter.  It may be the last paragraph of every FU letter that is sent from the list cause it was EPIC (Hi Jessa and Emily;o))

I wish to have no further contact with you on any level.  Don’t send me any letters through my children, don’t email me, don’t write me.  If you see me in KY, at church or on top of the Eiffel Tower do not pretend to be my friend and approach me with the platitudes and phony kindness you have over the last 5 years.  I will do you the same favor.

2 Down...as of right now....none to go.  Beware if you see a letter in the mail from me...it could be bad.  I'm kidding.  If you think you might get one of my FU list letter's then you know you are going to.  The people who have irritated me know who they are.  I am just not taking it anymore.  No time.  Honestly, I probably have more years behind me then I do in front of me.  I am the dreaded "middle aged."  I'm ok with that.  But there will be no more wasting of time.  Emotional energy on people who don't deserve it is over.  And that feels realllllllyyyyyyy good.

Hold the Morphine till he does what I say! Part 2

Story Continued:

So the whack job Fundamentalist.  This is the person that can turn off more people to Christianity faster then any act of terror I can think of.  For those of you who didn't read the post I had I fill you in quickly.  I had a patient who was dying (its what I do) and his daughter would not allow him to have any pain or comfort medicine because she wanted him to accept Christ before he died so he wouldn't go to hell.  In talking to her I mentioned that there is a woman in the hospital who deals frequently with people who are ready to cross over into whatever is next.  She walks in a room and can feel the loved ones around the dying individual...their spirits there to take someone home.  In mentioning that to this daughter her immediate question was...is she a fundamentalist?  That's what I love about a good Christian Fundamentalist .... they have the corner on the market of everything.  How did becoming a Fundamentalist translate into becoming an exclusionist, sanctimonious tool for torture to the masses that don't believe what she does.  Isn't there something in that book she is ready about kindness?  I thought there was.  Isn't there something in that book about hating the sin but NOT the sinner?  Was she a fair representation to the world of the kindness of Jesus Christ?  I think not.  And for those of us who have been more hurt by someone who claimed Christianity then those who claimed allegiance to no entity in particular, I can say that the masses of Christians will have to do without me.

I want you to believe what makes you happy.  You must follow your heart.  Again, I've read it....I understand.  The difference is I don't feel the need to tell you if I think you are wrong.  I don't have any interest in you telling me if I am wrong.  I want you to see who I am and wonder what love and what I fear based on how I love you.  How I love you as a friend, as a person, as a nurse, as a person who helps you through the dying process for you or your loved one, as the person who holds the door open for you, the person who lets you into the traffic, the person who tries to respect what you believe and learn what I can from you.  I take a piece of every person with me.  Good or bad.  I remember it, I try to make what is good part of me and what is bad I try to recognize in myself and get rid of.  Your opinion matters to me only if you are someone I love or if you are someone who truly loves me.  If I ask for your opinion, I really want it, honestly.  If I don't ask for your opinion, I really don't want it, honestly.

More people die every day and throughout history and into the rest of the existence of man, in the name of some God or another than to any other cause.  You believe what you believe.  I'll believe what I believe.  Everyone will be surprised at who is on the other side and what the other side is.  In the meanwhile, if I love you, I just love you.  No conditions in this life or the next.  If you love me, you'll do the same for me.

And finally....if you are there when I am dying and you don't give me morphine to ease my passing I will haunt your sorry ass until the end of your days and if I am with some sort of devil or evil entity I will sacrifice all that I am eternally to make sure no one else suffers like that.  Its needless and cruel and NOT Christian.

Hold the Morphine till he does what I say! Part 1

Recently I posted on my facebook that I wanted someone to explain to the the theory behind denying someone medicines to relieve his distress and discomfort because someone else wanted him to be coherent enough to accept Jesus Christ before he died so he didn't go to hell.

OK...listen.  I've read it, ok?  I know what the Bible says.  Now for those of you who have read it I need for you to tell me where it says that if people don't accept JC you should do your best to strong arm them into believeing in their final hours.  A very smart lady once said to me, when someone asks why I am a Christian and why I believe all that crap she said.....it doesn't matter what I believe or what you believe, if I am wrong what will I have lost in living my life this way, if you are wrong you stand to lose a lot more.  I don't subscribe to the exclusionist theory, but her message was....do what you want, it's your decision.  I've made mine, you make yours.  Maybe we'll see each other on the other side and maybe not.  She defused the criticism without slaying the critic.

So the most effective Christian I have ever known is a lady I knew in Frankfort.  She was funny, smart, loving, honest, open, caring and humble.  She didn't wear her Christianity like a medal of honor won on the battlefield.  She wore it in action and attitude.  People are drawn to her and love her because of who she is AND what she is spiritually.  She's magnetic and even if she is talking about dog walking or the blessings in her life she is just as passionate and positive.  That's the Christian I am drawn to.  That's the person who is walking what she is learning and NOT talking.  She will tell you about her faith, if you ask.  She will invite you to church or bible study, if you show interest.  She will engage you in conversation frequently that will gently lead you to asking about going to church and open the door.....but she never attempts to drag you up the hill and into the church door.  When you think about someone you want to be like and the spark you want in your life and the loving attitude you wish you could have....that is the person you are drawn to and want to understand Christ with and through.